Terrible Mother, take 2

Caro goes to Salvador 3 days a week and so it's just me and Rafa at home.  I wonder how I became a single mother?!  My schedule is of course tailored around her and usually I'm home when she gets home from school or I'm the one to pick her up and so we get home at the same time.  But Brazilian schedules are entirely flexible, so sometimes I refer to her as my "latch-key kid" because she gets home before I do.  There are always plenty of other people home in the Fazenda--it's not like I'm leaving her alone in the jungle for 2 hours.  If I know in the morning that she's going to be home before me I remind her of what she needs to do: change clothes, eat lunch, wash your plate after lunch, try to do your homework alone or ask someone else to help you (this is a fairy-tale dream--it never happens, but I keep wishing), and then you can play.  Last Tuesday we had such a day and I got home to find her playing in her school clothes.  So I called for her,

"Rafalulu!"  (I try to be extra sweet when I'm irritated with her so that she doesn't know she's going to be in trouble.)

"Oiiiii!"  (a general acknowledgement that she heard me but couldn't possibly imagine why I'd be calling her)

"Rafa!"

"Just a minute."

"RAAAAFFFAAAA!"

"I'm coming!"  (this is never true)  So I wait about 5 minutes for her to walk 50 yards back to the house.  I've also learned that I have to wait for her to get to the house before I reprimand her or else she'll split on me.

"Why are you playing in your school clothes?"

"I've already worn them twice, I'm going to wash them tomorrow."

"And when you stain with mango juice, what are you going to do?"

She knows I'm mad, so the excuses start..."Tete needed my help because Bea took her doll's brush and then Irma asked me to carry her plates to her house and Daniel wouldn't take a nap so I read a book with him and EVERYONE went to see the alligator in the swamp (true story, btw) and and and..."  Of course she also knows that I am more lenient if her excuses involve helping other people, still...

"All you had to do was change your clothes.  It was very simple.  You know you have to change your clothes everyday when you get home.  I reminded you this morning.  You're grounded for the rest of the day."

"WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"  literal tears.  What's really funny was at this point it was already 5:30.  At 6:00 she takes a shower, 6:30 is mass, 7:30 dinner then it's get ready for tomorrow and off to bed at 8:30.  So basically I grounded her for half an hour.  I am a terrible mother, as she will tell you.

She's picked up on some English in the past year.  One of her favorite sayings is "Holy mackerel!"  It cracks me up!  What else have I managed to teach her in the past year (Holy mackerel!  It's been almost a year!!  whoa)?  Well she now knows how to properly set the table.  She sets the table almost every night and almost every night I lovingly correct her.  One night last week it was perfect, right down to the dessert spoon!  It brought tears to my eyes, I was so proud of my funny little girl.  She can cook much better now and she is almost always on time for mass.  We're always working on how to be more appreciative and compassionate.  I think she's matured a bit, but it's hard to say if I've had anything to do with it.  I think about her constantly.  As much as she tries my patience, I love her so dearly.  It seems like everything I do revolves around her, even though she doesn't always think so.  I wonder how I will possibly be able to leave her.