Despedida

Yesterday was my despedida--my sending forth mass and festa.  It was a beautiful day, full of people I love, a few tears, lots of laughter, and some really great music.  AND someone other than me made brownies :)  I have so much to tell you...but these days are growing shorter and I want to spend every minute with my family here.  Most of them I will never see again on this earth.  It's almost like knowing the day I'm going to die--I just want to sit and talk with them, play, laugh, stare at their beautiful faces until the images are burned on my heart.  I want to leave them with no doubt as to how much I love them.  So I'll write for all of you after.  After I die here and am reborn at home.

love,
Sunny

Dreams, daydreams, shire dreams

I have vivid dreams, I always have.  How often have I thought something happened and then had to ask "did I dream that?"  I dreamt before I came here of wandering through the street, giving birth to octuplets, discovering the rooms of a new house.  I dreamt once I got here of giant mutant bugs, getting lost in the jungle, people I love dying.  Now I dream of coming home.  Last night I hugged my little blond niece, buried my face in her hair and cried for missing Rafaela.  Last week I gave birth to a little girl and couldn't remember what I had wanted to name her.  I dream of seeing a face I love in the airport, finding new rooms in my old house, listening to the tide come in.

It's 4:00am.  I'm lying awake hungry and thinking of everything I want to do, everyone I want to visit, all the projects I want to finish, all the things I want to teach Rafa and Celina in the next 5 weeks.  I went to bed before dinner last night because I was horribly nauseous.  Was it the jaca fruit I ate at Manuela's house or the anxiety of the deadline?...oh, Celina!  My new "little" sister.  She arrived last week for a year mission.  She's from Jefferson City, is 18, and a head taller than me.  She LOVES to clean!  ALLELUIA!  my prayers are answered!! :)  We discovered the other day that on the day she was born I had my wisdom teeth pulled.  HA!  Still, we have a lot in common.  Maybe just because of this mission, this little space that we share with our hearts open.  I pray and I try to encourage her to be completely open to this life, to be herself even if she feels stupid, and to trust God.  And I've got to teach her how to make cakes because everyone is freaking out over who will be the baker when I leave. 

I'm so ready to go home, but I'm not ready to leave.  Like when I came here--sad to leave, happy to go. But you have to leave in order to go, and so... I wonder how much has changed.  My oldest nephew was almost as tall as me when I left, now my highest heels can't reach him.  There are relatives who don't talk to each other anymore, friends who feel we are just too far apart, new babies in the family.  My Grandma's not there anymore.  There are changes in my heart that are beyond words.  How much have I changed?  And how will they find me still the same?  I feel like a clueless little hobbit (maybe it's because I haven't had a pedicure in over a year) who left home one day and entered the world of men, having to face all it's goodness and evil.  Will I be like Sam who went home with clarity and courage to live shire-life to the fullest?  Or will I be like Frodo who just can't go back, who just can't explain?

...now that I write that it seems clearer: of course I'm like Sam!  Besides, Frodo was too skinny :)

xo

Sunny

A year exploring the castle

Last Saturday was my 1 year anniversary here in the Fazenda.  I can easily say that this has been the most intense and important year of my life.  In all I’ve discovered about myself and about God’s love.  I have been changed for good.  And Erica leaves today—my darling Erica who I’ve had as my constant companion during this journey to the center of our souls.  We’ve only been friends for a year, but it seems a lifetime ago that we met.

I remember thinking before my mission “Now my soul is like one small room, after it will be the whole house.”  Well it seems to be more like a castle with a thousand rooms, winding staircases, torturous dungeons, and many sunlit courtyard and rose gardens.  It is more perplexing and meandering, but also more lovely and awesome than I ever imagined.  And I’m sure I’ve only just walked through a small part of it.  I have a guide on this journey through my soul (you undoubtedly know who), but often I think “Oh, I’ve got this!  I can find my way from here.”  Then my pride gets me lost, leads me into doubt.  I make one wrong turn after another until I turn a corner and He is there waiting for me.  I surrender and He takes my hand again with a knowing little smile. 

Even with my guide, every so often I find myself in darkness.  Sometimes it’s just a short corridor where I can keep my hand against the wall until I reach the courtyard on the other side, but others it’s an immense abandoned ballroom and the consuming blackness of it paralyzes me.  During these times all I can do is focus on the present.  I mean be completely focused on whatever/whoever is directly in front of me.  If I look ahead or behind me even one hour of time I lose my grip on reality.  It’s as if the present moment is a single candle flame and all else is an abyss.  I can’t think about how fabulous my vacation was with my parents or the argument I had with Rafaela during breakfast.  I can’t think about what I’m going to do when I get home to Arizona or even what I’m going to cook for dinner.  All thoughts—of joy or sorrow—somehow morph into anxiety, shame, doubt, loneliness.  Only the single candle flame of the present moment is real and only that can I see clearly.

My guide carries the candle.  It’s so dark I can’t see His face or even His wounded hand, but I know the feeling of His presence.  I don’t know where we’re going or how much longer we have to walk.  I only know that I don’t dare look away from the flame.  I have no words during these times because I don’t understand what the darkness is while I’m in it.  I can only say “I am in darkness.”  Some people become afraid and cry for me.  Others lose patience and tell me to get over it.  Few understand—those who have walked through the dark rooms of their own souls, led by the Flame.  To them I say “I am in darkness.  Please pray for me,” and they simply say “Ok,” with a little smile because they know it will lead into light.  There is nothing to do, only pray and wait.

In a moment, perhaps after a day or a few weeks, He opens the door and we step into the sunshine.  Sunlight floods the dark room and I can see what was lurking there.  Maybe it was the threadbare sofa of loneliness, the tarnished mirror of deceit, the tattered blanket of insecurity.  In reality just a bunch of old furniture I need to throw out.  We prop the door open so the sun and breeze can air out the room and I follow Him into the garden, onto explore the rest of the castle.  As I soak up the sunshine I can reflect on the past and dream of the future without any pain or fear.  My joy is full in His love.

My departure date is set: September 19^th.  I’m going to spend a couple weeks in the Heart’s Home in New York afterwards and will be home October 8^th.  Please pray for me in these final two months of my mission.  I feel like I’ve received so much and still have so much more to give.  I continue to pray for all of you.

Love,

Sunny

Terrible Mother, take 2

Caro goes to Salvador 3 days a week and so it's just me and Rafa at home.  I wonder how I became a single mother?!  My schedule is of course tailored around her and usually I'm home when she gets home from school or I'm the one to pick her up and so we get home at the same time.  But Brazilian schedules are entirely flexible, so sometimes I refer to her as my "latch-key kid" because she gets home before I do.  There are always plenty of other people home in the Fazenda--it's not like I'm leaving her alone in the jungle for 2 hours.  If I know in the morning that she's going to be home before me I remind her of what she needs to do: change clothes, eat lunch, wash your plate after lunch, try to do your homework alone or ask someone else to help you (this is a fairy-tale dream--it never happens, but I keep wishing), and then you can play.  Last Tuesday we had such a day and I got home to find her playing in her school clothes.  So I called for her,

"Rafalulu!"  (I try to be extra sweet when I'm irritated with her so that she doesn't know she's going to be in trouble.)

"Oiiiii!"  (a general acknowledgement that she heard me but couldn't possibly imagine why I'd be calling her)

"Rafa!"

"Just a minute."

"RAAAAFFFAAAA!"

"I'm coming!"  (this is never true)  So I wait about 5 minutes for her to walk 50 yards back to the house.  I've also learned that I have to wait for her to get to the house before I reprimand her or else she'll split on me.

"Why are you playing in your school clothes?"

"I've already worn them twice, I'm going to wash them tomorrow."

"And when you stain with mango juice, what are you going to do?"

She knows I'm mad, so the excuses start..."Tete needed my help because Bea took her doll's brush and then Irma asked me to carry her plates to her house and Daniel wouldn't take a nap so I read a book with him and EVERYONE went to see the alligator in the swamp (true story, btw) and and and..."  Of course she also knows that I am more lenient if her excuses involve helping other people, still...

"All you had to do was change your clothes.  It was very simple.  You know you have to change your clothes everyday when you get home.  I reminded you this morning.  You're grounded for the rest of the day."

"WAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"  literal tears.  What's really funny was at this point it was already 5:30.  At 6:00 she takes a shower, 6:30 is mass, 7:30 dinner then it's get ready for tomorrow and off to bed at 8:30.  So basically I grounded her for half an hour.  I am a terrible mother, as she will tell you.

She's picked up on some English in the past year.  One of her favorite sayings is "Holy mackerel!"  It cracks me up!  What else have I managed to teach her in the past year (Holy mackerel!  It's been almost a year!!  whoa)?  Well she now knows how to properly set the table.  She sets the table almost every night and almost every night I lovingly correct her.  One night last week it was perfect, right down to the dessert spoon!  It brought tears to my eyes, I was so proud of my funny little girl.  She can cook much better now and she is almost always on time for mass.  We're always working on how to be more appreciative and compassionate.  I think she's matured a bit, but it's hard to say if I've had anything to do with it.  I think about her constantly.  As much as she tries my patience, I love her so dearly.  It seems like everything I do revolves around her, even though she doesn't always think so.  I wonder how I will possibly be able to leave her.

Happy Independence Day!

Yep. it's the 4th of July even here in Brasil ;)  although I didn't get the day off.  And I ate beans & rice (surprise surprise!) instead of cheeseburgers, chips, banana splits....drool.  One of the kids did light a firecracker this morning (leftovers from our São João party) so that felt a little festive. 

I feel so disconnected from my country.  I never have been the most up-to-date citizen, but I realized today that we have a presidential election in November (yes, I'll be home for it) and I don't even know who's running.  How pathetic!  There are so many things I'm going to have to re-learn once I get home, not least of all how to drive because now I drive like a Brazilian, which is waaaay worse than anything you can imagine.  I know, though, that I will fully appreciate things like the US school system (where kids actually learn a thing or two), roads that are maintained more than once every decade, reliable food refrigeration, and public sanitation.  Be thankful that you live in the US.  truly.

Happy Independence Day! 

love,
Sunny

Parties!

Monday 5 of us went to visit a friend in Passagem for her birthday.  She turned 104....yes, 104 years old.  Imagine!  We arrived and her son and daughter-in-law greeted us in the front yard.  He painted the house inside and out for her birthday and it was decorated with balloons and flowers.  They said that some of the neighbors had visited in the morning and some family was expected to arrive later in the afternoon.  Dona Margarida was in bed, but they woke her up for her "party."  She wore a long white dress covered in beads and sequins, her nails were painted a bright tangerine and she had plastic iridescent beads around her neck.  She sat there in her wheelchair absolutely sparkling as the afternoon light flooded in the door.  Seldom have I seen anyone so beautiful.  We took a birthday cake and a pie--she wanted the cake.  She chowed down on 2 pieces of cake and gulped a cup of pepsi, followed by a very satisfied belch.  (I thought if cake is the secret to longevity I will survive at least to 100!)  She spoke little, but was very attentive to the conversation in the crowded living room.  Once she looked at me so intently and held my gaze for so long I thought she must be remembering someone else.  How many people has she known in more than a century?  How many has she seen as newborns, how many has she seen die?  More than a century of joy and suffering, of victories and defeats, of hungry days and days when you get all the cake you want.  Which does she treasure most?  The good times when they had enough food on the table and all the kids were at home?  Or the hard times when she was alone?  Can you really enjoy prosperity without knowing poverty?  Oh how many things I'd love to ask her, how many stories she could tell!

Sunday is the feast day of St. John the Baptist, and a huge holiday here.  It's as big of a deal as Christmas. Everyone has been talking about it for a month.  You have to refer to things as being "before São João" or "after São João."  Lucia was very concerned when she discovered 3 weeks ago that I didn't yet know what I was going to wear.  You're supposed to dress like a country bumpkin and can't match, so I didn't really think I needed to give it much thought.  Apparently I was mistaken.  Thank God I have a Brazilian to pick out clothes for me :)  My outfit is perfectly hideous!  I can't wait to show you all photos.  The kids are off school for 2 weeks and no one is working on anything except for official party business.  We are planning a big ol' shindig in the Fazenda.  We're expecting 40-50 people to arrive Saturday morning and stay until Sunday afternoon.  Erica and I are the official decoration committee.  Erica being Idea Department and I am Implementation Department.  (I'm not on food this time because the food is very specific Bahian food that I don't know how to make.  Only Brazilians are allowed in the kitchen.)  We're going to have Brazilian square dancing, complete with lessons Saturday afternoon, a bigger-than-Texas sized BBQ, a bonfire the size of a house, a mock wedding (I'm playing the part of the mother of the groom, but shhhhh, it's a secret), and forró dancing until the am.  And then we get to sleep for a week...HA!  I wish! 

My funny little girl

"School bag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning..."  I sing this song to Rafaela way too often.  She is a huge Abba fan :)

Back in October I wrote a blog all about Rafaela, my funny little girl.  Even though I mention her a lot in my blogs & letters and you've seen a thousand pictures of her, I thought I'd tell you a little more about her, since next to Jesus she is the center of my life here.

So she's 11 right.  Just about "that age."  Caroline and I had to have "the talk" with her.  I was thinking "what the...?  I have to have this talk?  Already?  I haven't even given birth yet--usually moms have a decade or so to think about it.  And I have to do in in Portuguese?  Lord have mercy..."  Anyways, it was fairly painless.  And now I'm teaching her to tell time.  Seems a bit backwards, no?  Usually kids learn how to tell time long before they learn about things like maxi pads.  Not in this school system.  Also the time has come for her to start wearing a bra.  I asked Lucia to buy her one.  (What we don't get in donations she buys at a sort of park-n-swap.)  She bought her a red one.  Great.  Thanks Lucia--a red bra for her to wear with her white school shirts.  How very Brazilian.  Now she has 4 bras, not one of them is subtle and she is thrilled to make a fashion statement with her noticeably lacy, frilly undergarments.  Oh well, she is Brazilian after all.  No one else sees a problem with this. 

She is a very creative cook.  She's just started cooking in the past 6 months, but of course, she claimed she already knew how before--some sort of instinct.  I tried to explain to her how to cook pasta, but of course she already knew so brushed me off.   She dumped dry pasta in a pot, filled it with water, put it on the stove and walked away for 20 minutes.  It was like glue.  So I explained a few more times and now she's kinda getting the hang of it.  When we have ketchup it goes in everything.  And sweetened condensed milk goes in all desserts--oh, and on popcorn!  She made a dessert last week: it was cream mixed with sweetened condensed milk, sprinkled with sweetened coconut, with little dollops of jam.  I tried it because I'm nice like that.  We have a myriad of spices that my parents brought and she puts at least 5 different spices in every dish.  She tosses them into the pot one by one with a little flourish as if she's on some French cooking show. (she did not learn this from me!)  It's very endearing that she likes to cook, sometimes she listens to my suggestions, but usually we end up eating something completely new and different. 

On Mother's Day we were expecting her parents to come to the Fazenda, but they didn't show.  They don't have a phone and who knows why they didn't come, maybe they didn't have money for the bus, maybe her mom was too sick.  So after lunch we decided to pay them a surprise visit.  Mateus, Diego, Rafa, & caught a ride into Salvador and they led me through the winding treacherous streets of their favela.  Actually I can't call them streets--they were narrow paths up and down crumbling concrete steps.  We met their dad outside a tiny bar (a counter with a few concrete blocks for bar stools) drinking with a few friends.  He was overjoyed to see us and took us down the path to their house.  Their house: a 10' x 15' block room with bricks holding down the tin roof.  My bedroom back home is bigger.   A curtain sectioned off the bathroom and there was no kitchen sink.  I don't know where they would get water--maybe there was a spigot outside.  A twin mattress was propped up against one wall, two chairs and a small amoire against the other, clothes hanging on a rope suspended from the roof.  They did have a fairly new, small stove and oven and a stereo someone had given them recently.  Their father was very proud of the stereo and spent about 20 minutes trying to get it to work.  The place was spotless.  Not a spec of dirt on the concrete floor, no spiderwebs  in the corners or dust on the chairs.  (Can't say that for my house!)  Their mother was inside with the door and window closed, alone in the dark stifling heat.   She came alive at the sight of her children.  We propped open the door to let the sun and breeze fill the house and the kids gave her presents: a white satin blouse (what is it with Rafa and white satiny clothing???  honestly?), some costume jewelry, two perfumes, a body spray, and scented body lotion.  She was positively giddy.  She sprayed, misted, and rubbed good-smelling stuff all over her and laughed laughed laughed.  She even agreed to leave the house (apparently this is rare) and go with us to visit their aunt and cousins who live nearby.  The afternoon was lovely getting to know their family, watching soccer, eating popcorn.  Rafa got to play with her cousins (her aunt has 7 or 8 kids at home) and cheer for Bahia, her favorite team.  We had to leave too soon.

I am a terrible mother—just ask Rafaela.  A couple weeks ago was Tete’s 8^th birthday and we were going to have a party.  It was a cold, rainy Saturday night.  It had been raining non-stop all week and was no more than 60 degrees.  Everything was muddy—all of our clothes, shoes, the entire Fazenda covered in mud and small rivers.  Rafa comes out of her room in a sundress.  And not just any sundress, mind you, but a flimsy, above-the-knee, gleaming white, spaghetti strap sundress complete with a sequin-covered bodice.  I hate this dress.  It is waaaaaaay too old for her (she’s 11), and talk about totally inappropriate for a rainy, muddy, cold night.  I laughed out loud and asked,

“What are you wearing?”  (meaning “What the !@*&^?#*!?! do you think you are wearing?”)

“My dress.”  (As if she only has one.  And as if she saw absolutely no problem with this.)

“You’re not wearing that.”

“But it’s my favorite dress!”   

                                                                         

“You are NOT wearing a sundress tonight!  Look outside, it’s 60 degrees and raining.  Not to mention completely muddy.  The dress will be filthy and you’ll catch a cold.  (I should’ve thrown in “You’ll shoot your eye out!”)  Go put on pants and a sweatshirt.”

At this point she really started to panic because she realized I was not going to budge.  And so the tears started…

“But it’s a party!  Everybody’s going to be dressed up!!! WAAAAHHHHHH!”

I had to excuse myself from the room because I just couldn’t hold back my laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation.  I went for my daily freezing shower and left her to her tears for a few minutes.  “Everybody’s going to be dressed up.”  Right.  Everybody.  All 32 of us who live in the Fazenda.  The muddy, wet, cold Fazenda.  Everybody’s going to be in white sundresses and starched linen pants.  Sure Rafa.  I was laughing at her silliness and at the flashbacks of all the tears I shed over clothing during my adolescence.  Oh the poor girl!  I could feel her pain, but how absurd!  I thought of my poor mother J  Funny how girls are girls the whole world over.  It doesn’t matter that Rafa is a poor girl who lives in the country with a bunch of crazy foreigners.  She has the same desire to look pretty for every occasion. 

So I finished my refreshing shower and went to help her.  We picked a different dress. (“I HAVE to wear a dress!  I am NOT wearing pants to a party!  WAAAHHHHH!”  ok, ok, I understand.)  One with thicker fabric, a dark floral pattern, and that reached past her knees.  Paired it with a sweater, earrings, and I loaned her a chic scarf.  (Come to think of it, I never did get that scarf back.  Hmmmmmm)  I wore earrings and a scarf too, it was a party after all ;) 

Bet you thought I fell off the face of the earth, eh?  No, just got out of the habit of writing after vacation.  Now I realize that more than nearly 3 months has passed since I posted.  

So in a nutshell, vacation was fabulous!  If you received my sponsor letter, you already heard all about it, but if not, here it is...

My parents and oldest brother and his family came to visit in March.  We all spent a week in Salvador relaxing on the beach, touring the historic part of the city, and visiting the Fazenda.  Plus they were here for my birthday!  One day some of my friends from the Fazenda spent the day with us on the beach and another day we all went to the Fazenda.  It was truly wonderful to have my two “families” meet.  Photos: https://picasaweb.google.com/103680117011724976751/BrazilianVacation2012Salvador?authuser=0&authkey=Gv1sRgCLfI_snExZDujAE&feat=directlink

Then my parents and I went to Iguaçu Falls on the border of Brasil and Argentina.  There is no doubt as to why this is now one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World.  It was absolutely marvelous!  The immensity of the falls is inconceivable, as is the creativity of our awesome God.  We spent a day on each side of the falls to get the full scope and visited the world’s largest bird park.  Photos: https://picasaweb.google.com/103680117011724976751/BrazilianVacation2012IguacuFalls?authuser=0&authkey=Gv1sRgCJTFjsKH1d3TWA&feat=directlink

Next we headed to the enchanting Rio de Janeiro.  We had a whirlwind day touring the major sites: Sugarloaf Mountain, Christ the Redeemer statue, historic neighborhoods, and cathedrals.  Then two relaxing days on Ipanema and Copacabana beaches where we ate lots of delicious seafood and soaked up the charm of Rio.  Photos: https://picasaweb.google.com/103680117011724976751/BrazilianVacation2012RioDeJaneiro?authuser=0&authkey=Gv1sRgCIzzrcKnp6qzkQE&feat=directlink

After this two week adventure, I led my parents into the jungle to spend 5 days in the Fazenda.  They fared far better than I thought they would with the plethora of bugs and lack of amenities.  Their biggest challenge was cooking with so few ingredients or utensils.  But where there’s a will there’s a way!  The greatest gift of this vacation was having them with me, to share my life here, for a little while.  We cooked for todo mundo, made bread, visited friends in Passagem and Simões Filho, fixed leaky faucets and broken door handles, and played with the kids.  I felt like they brought with them a little piece of me that had been missing—something from my innocence, something from before I can remember that only they hold in their hearts.  And they left a little bit of themselves here too, so that now it feels more like home.  People are still imitating the way my mom said “Obrigada!” with a little nod of the head and her very American accent and often I greet Rafaela in the morning with a boisterous “Buon giorno!” like my dad did.  (“Buon giorno” is Italian; “Good morning” in Portuguese is “Bom dia,” but Rafa understood what he meant.)  When they left they said “You sure do have some good friends here,” and thank God I do because it was hard to say good-bye to them again.  Photos pending-hope to post them on picasa soon.

I’m learning to live with some serious rain now that it’s winter here.  Sometimes it takes a week for my clothes to dry and mold seems to grow on everything—clothes, shoes, wooden utensils.  It’s kinda freaky.  Like something from a 70’s sci-fi movie—instead of the Blob, it’s THE MOLD.  Mmmmmwaahhahahahaha!

I imagine you all are planning your summer vacations.  I’d love to hear from you and see photos J

Xo

Sunny  

Hello sweethearts!






We had 14 youth last week at our youth group in Passagem! Headed there again tonight :)






Tomorrow the CARDINAL (as in ecclesiastical prince of the Catholic Church, not the bird) is coming to the Fazenda and I am in charge of cooking lunch. Holy mackerel!! Maybe someday I'll put it on my resume "Cooked for a Cardinal"






and the biggest news...my parents will be here friday!!!! AAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Im so happy i could burst.






you are all in my prayers


Sunny

Youthful

The police strike is over so we are going tonight for our first meeting with the youth group in Passagem.  YAY!  Pray that the Spirit fills us to help the youth there come closer to Jesus.

And I just found out that I'm going on a 3 day Youth Retreat with 5 of our youth.  3 days of worship and praise...and sleeping on the floor in a school!  LOL!  I think I must be a little bit crazy to be excited about sleeping on the floor for 3 days, but oh well!  Please pray for us as we prepare for Lent.


Happy Carnival!!!

love,
Sunny

Wish List

My parents and my oldest brother and his family will be here in 1 month!!!  They are coming to visit and I'll get to take some vacation time.  And they'll be here for my birthday!  WOOHOO!!  I'm so excited I could pee but I still have to wait another month.

So, if any of you have been thinking that you'd like to send something you could send it with them and save the postage.  Here's my wish list:

toys for the kids such as:
Polly Pockets (they're all the rage)
frisbees
inflatable balls
yo-yos

craft supplies such as:
glitter (they are glitter maniacs!)
beads and clear string or elastic to make necklaces, bracelets, decorations, etc
washable markers
pencil sharpeners
construction or colored paper

cooking supplies so that I can cook even more for tudo mundo (everyone):
electric mixer (beating egg whites by hand is really getting old)
whisk (I've already broken 2 whisks--blame it on the egg whites)
spices (other than cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, oregano)
flavorings other than vanilla (ie. lemon, maple, coconut, peppermint)

luxury items for me:
facial products for oily sensitive skin
eye cream
hand cream
non-metal hair elastics
long white cotton socks--they come in handy at night to keep the mosquitoes from biting me
blank white note cards
size 10 clothes--not new, but if anyone needs to clean out her closet and has size 10 clothes I could really use some.  I have 1 pair of capris and 2 pairs of jeans that actually fit me.  No shorts. All my skirts and nice blouses are way too big.  I look like I'm wearing sails most of the time--frumpy!  All my t-shirts are ruined.  Usually when we get clothing donations there aren't many women's clothes and none of it is very nice.

Or if you have anything else in mind, I always love surprises!

Please email my parents if you have stuff to send: rogerdolly@msn.com  They live in Chandler and need to have the stuff no later than Saturday March 3rd.

Muito obrigada queridos!  (Thank you very much darlings!)

love,
Sunny

Finding my voice in Passagem

I've written some about the closest little village to the Fazenda: Passagem dos Texerias.  I've been going there once a week since the beginning of my mission to visit.  It is a poor but friendly place and I have completely fallen in love with it.  I've started going to make visits twice a week now because I just have too many friends to visit.  (I'm so popular!)  I wish I could live there.

A few weeks ago I got the chance to live there, if only for 3 days.  A group of our friends from Rio came to do a small mission and spent a week in Passagem evangelizing, inviting people to come back to the Church.  Erica and I joined them for part of the mission since we go there so often and know everyone.  We stayed with our friend Ana Paula and her family.  I don't actually know how many people live in their house--11 or 12, I think, and there are always other siblings/relatives coming and going.  I felt so at home hanging out with her and her sisters, playing with her nephew, chatting with her mom.  Just walking down the street at night with them made me feel like such a part of that community.  I went with the group from Rio to meet new people and I felt such a rush of excitement as people showed interest in coming back to the Church.  Each night we had mass and a different prayer focus.  One night for the elderly, the sick, the youth, etc.  The church was packed every night and the Spirit moved through that little village.

Saturday afternoon we invited all the kids for a party.  About 70 kids showed up and I was amazed at the simplicity of the party.  The games, the food, the decorations were all simple--no one spent weeks planning--but the joy was intense.  It was a good reminder for me how important it is just to do spend time with them, play with them, to show your love.

Saturday night we had a night of praise with the teenagers.  There were 60-70 people there, and I think some of them showed up because they thought it was a party, but whatever, the Spirit moved them all the same.  It was such a thrilling night!  As we all sang and raised our hands and voices in praise I was floating!  I wanted so badly to be able to speak to these teenagers--to speak to their hearts and encourage them to open up to God--in the same way that the woman from Rio was speaking to them.  It's a hard thing to do in another language, but I knew that somehow God would give me the words, the voice to be able to lead them.  As I stood there amongst them I thought "this is my mission."

Ok, let me back up a bit...a couple weeks before this Erica, Adrian, and I were talking about how we missed being part of a more charismatic praise group.  Our prayer life here is the backbone of our mission and very fulfilling, but each of us comes from a more dynamic parish and we just miss waving our hands in the air and dancing around sometimes, ya know?  So we decided to have a little night of praise in our chapel.  Diego came too because he wanted to play the drum.  So it was Adrian on the guitar, Diego on the drum, and Erica and me singing.  We had visions of a group of hundreds of people being led my Matt Maher, but whatever, we made the best of what we had.  We had a little bit of a plan, but mostly just let the Holy Spirit lead us.  We sang and prayed our little hearts out in Portuguese, Spanish, and English.  At the end we talked about how we'd have to take this to Passagem.  How the teenagers there were so lacking in any type of youth group, but honestly how could we 3 foreigners lead them?  We didn't know--we were nervous, but we knew we'd have to make it work somehow.  The very next day we heard about the group from Rio coming to do a mission in Passagem, that they were a charismatic group and had planned a night of praise for the teenagers!  God provides. :)  So during our time in Passagem we talked to a group of 9 girls who we know (Ana Paula and her sisters are part of them) who are very involved in the Church.  They range in age from 13 to 19 and have been meeting on their own every Wednesday night to pray and talk for 5 years!  5 years these girls have been faithful to each other and to God with no adult to help them plan or guide them.  We asked if they'd like some help organizing it and growing the group and they were absolutely thrilled at the idea!  They are so thirsty for more Jesus!  So we learned a few popular Brazilian Christian songs and had planned to go last Wednesday....

then the police in the state of Bahia went on strike.   That's a whole other story, but we were unsure about the safety of us going into town at night, so we didn't start last week.  We visited the girls during the day and everyone is making preparations to officially start the group, but until the political situation improves we can't meet at night.  Please pray for the whole state of Bahia here as it really is a very grave situation.  Please pray for our hearts and ears to be open as the Holy Spirit guides us to form this youth group.  And please pray for my tongue to be loosened so that I can express God's love more fully in Portuguese!

Oh, and mass in Passagem continues to be packed!  Praise God for the new life in that little town!  Don't be surprised if soon I'm asking for donations to build a new church there :)

Remember too to send me your prayer requests at: sunnywallsings@gmail.com

in the love of Christ,
Sunny

A very belated Happy New Year!

A very belated Happy New Year!  Obviously my New Year’s resolution was not to be more faithful to my weekly blog!  I can’t even call it a weekly blog anymore…sheesh! 

Christmas was fabulous!  Rafaela, Diego, and Mateus’ parents and older brother stayed with us in the Fazenda for a few days.  Our Christmas Eve dinner was more wonderful than I could’ve imagined.  Instead of trying to cook everything myself, as I like to do, I delegated everything but the potatoes and dessert.  I made a conscious effort to have no expectations and was completely delighted with the results.  WOW, what lessons I’m learning.  J  One major stress factor for me was the napkins…I have 2 sets of 8 of cloth napkins and they don’t match.  Plus we had 17 people for dinner.  I stressed for 2 days over what to do without a solution.  On the afternoon of the 23^rd I received 2 packages.  One of them had 2 packs of beautiful Christmas napkins!!  ALLELUIA!!  (Yes, I know I get a little too excited about napkins.  Thank God I have friends who understand me.  Thanks Heather!)  I also received a huge boxes of Christmas cookies so PRONTO—dessert!  (Thanks Mia & Steve!)  As we sat down at our beautiful table, full of good food, pretty decorations, and love, everyone was filled with joy.  After midnight mass we roasted marshmallows and taught everyone how to make s’mores.  A huge hit!

After Christmas a group of French volunteers arrived for a short mission trip.  They came to help us with projects we had here in the Fazenda: painting the school buildings and renovating an empty house.  They worked their butts off for nearly 2 weeks.  We were all so appreciative to have them here because the projects would’ve taken months for us to accomplish.  I was going on and on to some of them about how awesome I thought they were for spending their vacation working with us when they said how awesome it is that I am here for more than a year.  Funny how I forget that I’ve given this part of my life.  I feel that I’m getting so much out of this mission that I don’t deserve any credit for all I’ve given up.  I guess that’s a good place for me to be.  I’m learning to be humble and appreciative.

The French volunteers stayed through New Year’s and brought scrumptious treats with them.  On New Year’s Eve I got to eat French cheese and wine!  Oh how glorious!!  My poor little taste buds had forgotten how marvelous cheese and wine are J  What a way to start the New Year.  We celebrated Epiphany by drawing names out of a hat as “secret friends” (like secret Santa, but without the Santa bit).  My secret friend gave me a fan!  So now I can sleep without sweating.  But then a few days later he showed up at my house with a new mattress!!!  Irma Leticia had wanted to buy me one for months knowing that mine was basically worthless, so finally just after Christmas it became possible.  I slept like a rock for the first time in 6 months.  I think it was the best gift I’ve ever received.  During the 12 days of Christmas my secret friend also made me a cake, which was really funny since I am known as the “Reina dos Bolos” (Queen of Cakes).  What’s even funnier is…well, so I didn’t know who my secret friend was, right?  So unknowingly I took the cake over to casa San Miguel to share.  My secret friend who made the cake lives in that house, so he got to eat it with me!  Also one day at lunch he got a chicken leg, but when I arrive there weren’t enough left.  He shared his chicken leg with me and I was so happy to receive half a chicken leg.  I’m really learning to love this poverty--the fact that I was so excited to get a 2 oz portion of meat is hilarious!

So that’s Christmas and New Year’s in a nutshell.  The kids are on summer vacation so are days are full of keeping them occupied.  I teach English twice a week and music once a week.  Plus I study with Diego for an hour everyday (well, it’s an hour when he wakes up on time).  Friday is field trip day and I go with them sometimes.  We went to the zoo once and learned all the names of the animals in Portuguese.  One day we went to the museum of modern art which is conveniently located near a beach, so that was a bonus. 

I have lots more to tell you about what’s happened in the past couple weeks, but time’s up so it will have to wait.  I pray for you all daily.  You can send me your prayer requests at sunnywallsings@gmail.com

Love,