To leave in order to go

And at once they left their nets and followed him.  Matthew 4:20

I was thinking of this bible passage today as I sold my car and moved the last few things out of my house.  In my case I wouldn't say I've done it "at once," but I'm leaving my stuff and following Him all the same. 

Father Theirry, the founder of Heart's Home, wrote in a sending forth mass to some of the first HH missionaries that they were "to leave in order to go."  Yes, I suppose I can't go forth and follow Jesus without leaving my home.  He writes, "If you have today the impression of leaving a lot, soon you have the impression of receiving much more."  It has been a tearful weekend--tears of joy and laughter, but also tears of sadness as I say good-bye to those I love.  I know in leaving I'm not leaving this love behind.  It goes with me and will grow even stronger in me.  It's also been said "you cannot give what you don't possess."  God has given me such an amazing abundance of love in my family, friends, and parish and now He is offering me something more: emptiness.  The empty hearts of the people I will meet in the Fazenda and the neighboring favelas will be there for me to fill with love.  And my own emptiness, in my loneliness and longing for my family, He will fill with His love.  Times like now, when my heart is heavy I know it is because it is full.  This is a chance for it to burst open and overflow with love.